Eyes of the Beholder
by Fyyrrose
Summary: [Challenge fic] What happens when Kohaku and Kagura are left to clean up after a kill? [Oneshot]


Title: Eyes of the Beholder

Author: Fyyrrose

Rating: T .. it's really only a T … wow

Disclaimer: Yeah _so_ obviously not mine…and this is the reason

Summary: What happens when Kohaku and Kagura are left to clean up after a kill?

Notes: Yes a challenge fic from EEevee. This was super easy to write. I thought of the plot while sitting at the park at work waiting for the time to pass by. This is a one shot fic so there will be no continuations…I'm sick, but come on…Oh and I did write this at 1a.m last night/this morning...

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Why did we have to kill those worms? Actually they were giant rat demons, but in the end they will become worms. Everything becomes worms. And I was covered in their entrails. The worst part? I smelt like it too.

Riding on the air current only made it worse. So we came to a mutual agreement, albeit an unspoken one. We were both too polite to tell the other that they reeked. Well, I never said anything that was impolite. I don't know why, but I feel as if it's against my nature to be disrespectful.

Sometimes I wish I could remember, but then she tells me that some things are best left forgotten. Was I really that horrible that I need to forget who I was, who I am? Every time I try to remember, my body convulses and I black out. I think it's almost best if I forget. I know she worries when I remember something. It means I'll suffer in the long run.

It's a never ending cycle of …everything.

I was the one that was covered the most in the demon guts so Kagura allowed me to bathe first. I wanted to tell her that she should go before me. Again, it was this deeply ingrained mannerism that a lady should bathe first, but for some reason when I'm around her my tongue twists and I can't say anything.

I hate it. Instead all I can do is bow my head and head towards the stream. The water is cold, but I block it out. Still subconsciously I shiver as the rushing cold water surrounds me.

I wash off all the filth that's plastered on my skin. Being a demon exterminator I know how to clean myself after a kill. I know that's what I am because of my clothes, and also, because she told me. Other than that…I cannot recall who or what I am.

I scrub the fine scars all over my body. I can't believe I have so many. It shocks me every time I bathe myself. It's not very often, but when I do, I'm almost repulsed by the sight of my own body. I know, it's my body, but still…no one would want me like this. I am of no use to anyone: except him.

And the only reason I'm of use is because he wants something of me. I know it has something to do with the girl that calls me brother, but I can't remember. Taking my rage out on the water that flowed downstream I felt a little better.

Since I don't bathe as often as most, I have an ample supply of herbs. Mindful of the other person waiting to bathe after me, I make sure to save some for her too. I wish for once I could be a man and say something to her. I'm almost aggravated when she goes flying off to see Lord Sesshomaru. I know she likes him, but for once I would like her to see me. Really see me.

I know she's a demon, but she's saved me countless times, and I can't seem to outweigh that against anything. I know I should kill her because she's a demon, yet I cannot. There I go again. For once, I would like to take a stand and stick with it. For once I would like to do something I cannot.

It's not that I lack the nerves or the willpower; it's something else. It irritates me that I don't know what.

I finished washing and started to wash my only set of clothes. Having nothing else to wear I slipped on my damp loincloth. It was times like this I wished I had another change of clothes.

Where would I put it? We traveled on a feather; it wasn't like we carried an oxen and carriage. I returned to where Kagura set up the makeshift camp. Meaning a small clearing where we could make a small fire and wait for our clothes to dry.

Or was the drying of clothing simply for my sake? Did she ever get sick? I know demons get sick once in a while, but could they catch a cold?

She gave me a look over and I slightly blush under her scrutiny. I gathered a few sticks to start a fire, and arranged them neatly hoping that the wood was dry enough to light quickly. I could feel myself shaking as her eyes lingered on me. Why was she staring at me?

I could feel every part of my body warm from where her eyes lingered. Then I realized that she was probably looking at all the scars on my back and arms. I flushed, ashamed with the way I looked.

"The water is cold. I should have the fire started by the time you return." I couldn't look at her. I was too embarrassed.

I could feel her leave, but I didn't want to take a look back in case I was wrong. Instead I made a smaller pile of dead leaves and small twigs. To my relief they ignited with little coaxing. A small fire was burning in no time.

I set my clothes nearby so they could try off. I rubbed my hands over the heat. It felt so good. A small black container caught my eye. It was the container with the herbs to remove the demon carcass. I inwardly shook my head. How could I have been so stupid?

I should have given it to her the moment I returned. Quickly, I grabbed the container and walked silently towards the river. I opened my mouth to call out to her but stopped. Stripped of all her clothes, she was a goddess. The pins that kept her hair up and out of her face were removed.

I felt my heartbeat quicken. I couldn't breathe. I had never seen anything so beautiful before in my life. I partially wondered if I died and went to heaven, or if I was simply dreaming. If I was dreaming, I prayed I would never wake up.

With all the layers of clothing removed, she looked so fragile. Her body was long and slender, and to me, she was perfect. Reality hit, and I knew she would never fall for someone like me. After all, she was perfect so why would she settle for someone so messed up?

I leaned against the tree trunk and with every breath I took; I could feel myself falling deeper into despair. She was the unattainable geisha you strive to attain, but never do. I took a deep breath and pushed all the sadness and longing I felt deep down inside and locked it away.

"Kagura, I apologize," I called out stepping forward towards the river. "I forgot to give you the herbs that will remove the stench and grime." My head was tipped so I was looking at the ground. I would hate for her to realize that I was staring.

I could feel her eyes on me. Under that gaze I started to fidget. I couldn't tell if I amused her, or if I angered her for not telling her sooner. I swallowed my pride and looked up. She was staring at me. Her hand was outstretched and she waited for me to place the container in her hand.

I walked back into the water and did as she wanted. I turned to leave when she stopped me. "Be useful and wash my back."

I blinked a few times before what she said registered in my brain. I was finally going to be able to touch her beautiful skin. I dipped my hand in the paste-like substance and started to rub her back.

I bit my lip as her skin sent shivers down my fingers. I would never have imagined that it would feel this soft. It went beyond my wildest dreams. I rubbed the cleanser in slow small circles over her entire back, making sure not to mess a single spot.

My fingers were making their way back up her spine when she turned and grabbed my fingers. Shocked, I could only helplessly stare into her fiery red eyes. I wanted to ask if I had done anything wrong, but nothing came out.

"What are you doing?"

"I only did what you asked of me," I stammered. I hated myself. I wanted to be able to say a sentence without blowing it.

"You are not ashamed by the feel of the scars on my back?"

Caught off guard, I blinked—repeatedly. I knew she had the giant spider, but then again so did I…but she had other scars? She must have seen the look of confusion on my face so she turned around again.

In this moment of clarity I saw all the lacerations Naraku had engraved on her. Not being able to stop myself, I traced one of the larger ones. How was I not able to notice this a few moments before?

It didn't change the way I saw or felt about her. If anything it made her a little more attainable. In a timid and quiet tone I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't see them." I turned and started to leave.

She grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "What do you think of me?"

All the blood rushed from my face, yet I could feel myself burning where her hand was on my arm. "I think you're perfect." I felt proud of myself. Although my answer was shaky, it came out as it should have.

"Good."

I looked up into her shimmering red eyes. I was shocked by her answer. She stared deeply into my eyes finding the truth of my words.

She smiled, "Kohaku, thank you." And her lips descended onto mine.

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Beta: sputtering you're very much an evil $, you know that? Holding out on me when you have some good drugs! Unforgivable!

Author's squeak: You've pulled that on me too many times to count! So here's my revenge! Oh and I hoped everyone else enjoyed the story!


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